One more thing social media

Also. I've managed to break my social media habit. I'm doing so well I forgot about it, ha.
I'm so happy to break that although I do still use google+. But it only takes 5 mins to look at where the others could take hours. Google+ is more like a news feed so it's much healthier for me. I don't know why it's not as popular as the others. But ah well. So pleased with myself. It has taken about a month but haven't touched twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr or Pinterest for a week except to advertise a kickstarter. NO MORE BEING A FOLLOWER. Being a follower and JUST a follower sucks. It really leads to loneliness and such procrastinating. Glad to be rid of that BS. It is also a reminder that loneliness doesn't come from being alone, it comes from feeling surrounded and yet ignored.
There were some good moments and I did talk to some youtubers a little.
Next I need to work on regular sleeping patterns and getting back into yoga and/or going to the gym. How expensive is the gym though , Gees. In olden times you'd get exercise from work, which you got paid for. Now you pay to do work at the gym. Mad bloody world, lol

Getting organised, and another coincidence

My first positive post, I think lol.

I'm trying for the life of me to remember where I got this awesome app from but I think I just googled for organiser app and it took me to google play. It's pretty kool: Isotimer

I actually think I could design one myself now but this has given me a great basis of what one should have. I had looked at others before but none of them seemed to click. This one you can set tasks for today or another day. You can set long term goals or projects. It has a calender that syncs with google calendar, you can set up appointments. Plus it has an in built journal and a notes section. There's also a review section and a big picture where you can see a time span on a calander for each project. kool stuff. so yay, saves me from having to buy a purple leather origaniser which for some reason seemed to cost at least like £50 for some stupid reason.
I also downloaded a bunch of apps called timesheet so you can accurately assign your time in the day with alarms and timers and stuff so you're really on the clock. It seems extreme but I really need this kind of thing as I'm distracted to easily when I'm at home. AND I've downloaded one called HabitRPG, which is about tracking good and bad habits and scoring yourself. So good habits give you a point and bad habit takes a point away. I'll have a closer look next week.

But what amazed me was yesterday watching Nixe Pixels self help video. I mean it was if it was tailored for me and my neurotic mind. It was so amazing as it made me feel like I'm not tottaly alone. And man it was so accurate, well, I dunno about the mad scientist brain, but I'm certainly neurotic and overthink everything. She even asked her viewers to leave 3 main goals that you want to achieve at the moment so I put down my 3 which are:

1. Make a Game
2. Start my youtube channel
3. Finally go to one of the meetups from meetup.com

Obviously I'm still very anxious about the third one, but I just gotta power through the first few meetups and just keep my shit together until I start to feel like people may actually be OK with me. Alcohol will help, me thinks.

So yer, good news, I've already started to use the isotimer app and I got a fair bit of sh*t done over the weekend. Still a long way to go but I'm STILL with the parents at the moment. Yer, no word from the solicitars. huuuuuu. But what can you do. SO much BS paperwork, and everything takes soooo long to move into a flat.... The Flat of Solitude

Oh and another great piece of advice Nixie gave was not worrying about the Status Quo, no, not the band, although they're pretty bad, but you know.. what "they" think, as it is unproductive and is one of the main sources of my unhappiness I think. Even going on to say about worrying not having a girlfriend and stuff. I do my best not to think about that but it's so hard cos everyone my age seems to be in a relationship and then you get the online dating adverts on TV and on youtube as well. It can be very upsetting at times and I really wish society would stop doing it.
I won't settle for anyone other than the person I'm supposed to be with and I know that person when I see/meet them

Oh yer shoot, I forgot I've recorded myself playing Dragon Age Origins, just Mic, no camera. It is pretty wierd as I'm not used to it, but it's not that bad really, I think I could defiantly see myself getting better at this with time. I need a decent camera and don't know how much I should spend, plus I want to buy some make-up just for my skin, cos I'm pretty insecure, my skin is really blotchy and red. Men in studios where make-up so don't see the difference.

Anywho's that's about it, all round pretty good. The only thing else I can think to mention is I really want to make youtube videos to help anyone that might be in my position and try and give people hope, cos if I can sort myself out, anyone can... well... probably not anyone, but most people.

OK, so I think I'm gonna watch some Tabletop before bed time. Actually cos of the time I think I'll watch more of Felicia's RPG playthrough

Bye

Just so you know

Just so you know This was done to me, I didn't do it to myself. I know I'm crazy because I remember very well what it's like to be OK. About 7 years ago I had a gradual nervous break down and really was just left to be like a zombie. I've recovered some what since then but I am never OK, nothing like what I was like before. My short term memory its totally shot I can barely remember what I went into a room for but my long term is fine. I still remember my earliest memory of being in my pram with the plastic rain cover on and the rain beads rolling down the front and sides.

On another note the complete lack of justice in the world really gets to me. It seems only bad things happen to good people and assholes are "just" assholes, "what can you do". Even when supposedly good people do good things its usually giving money to charity. Call me paranoid/faithless but what actually happens with that money and why does no charity choose to show off their accomplishments. You only see the pain in charity as to make you feel like an asshole. Where is the progress? What is actually happening?

Further, as human beings are creatures of indoctrination based on the current social construct, where is the incentive for humans to want to be a good person. Why is the only reward greed and vanity. Why make people bad. Why not, oh I don't know have community where if I scratch your back you can scratch mine, you know the thing that existed before mass consumerism for hundreds of thousands of years. It's just impossible to be a good person in this construct as you are expected to be an asshole especially if you are a man. The only reward I've got for being good in my introverted way is social anxiety and depression amongst being a touchaphobe. You know, as a young man after grammar school I hung around with women and treated them with nothing but respect and you next thing that happened was one of them asking if I was gay. Oh and a girlfriend I had years ago, I bought her flowers and wrote poetry, she thought it was over the top. I mean you can't win? People only understand normal yet the television and film is anything but normal, it takes ordinary life and blows it up into extremes. This seems grossly inconsistent and hypocritical and just pacifies the population.

Where is the justice in the world, where is the community. The internet supposedly has multitudes of communities but I can never find anyone who wants to talk. I'm always just a follower trying to work on improving my sense of humour but nothing actually happens, it's not real to me and gets frustrating.

I have much to offer the world but no one knows

EDIT:
Also I want to say that any one is allowed to influence my behaviour if it's too my face and is based on reasoning, but no one is allowed to fuck with my identity. It has been carefully crafted on reasoning for a peaceful, fair and just world and I will defend it to my dying breath. People of this world really don't seem to know the difference between the two and that is a real problem

Doctor who, what 4 anxiety

My only exposoure to Doctor who as a child was a film called "The Seeds of Death" which I think was with the second doctor. That was pretty good. As a teenager I saw the Hollywood film where they go to see the Daleks. Was OK

More recently I saw the very first episode of Doctor who and instantly got the idea of what the show is/was about.

I'm up to episode 4 in the latest Doctor who. I can't say I'm madly impressed with the new series, (obviously I'm no expert on Doctor Who though) it's a little too silly for me, incoherent and every time period seems to have robots and aliens in even though it's set in the past and not very subtly. It feels like play acting and not all that meaningful. I mean it's yet another sci fi show that has a one thing does all device. Like in Star Gate you could basically do anything with the "Ancient" technology/knowledge. In Voyager a lot of problems was solved using the Deflector Array and in Doctor it is, of course, the sonic the hedgehog screwdriver. It does everything. I imagine it's a vibrator as well. Looks like one. Very convenient if you're a lazy writer. However the latest episode, the 4th episode was a little different. Still wildy pointless as to what the Doctor is trying to achieve in his life and he never seems to really be doing anything terribly useful but the show was clearly a metaphore for anxiety. Of course they just say fear.
I did like it... but of course... with Clara being all mothering in this episode, as someone with terrible social anxiety it's what I want to hear. Wish I had a companion... Yer it was ok, but it seemed clever as it actually used time in a clever way as she created the paradox of his irrational fear in the first place, by accident of course. The moral of the episode really was you have to just live with anxiety and treat it as a companion, and try to work with it as nature intened not fight it.

So although Doctor Who needs to be more coherent and true to the original (yes the film and one episode I saw) it is slowly getting better. Yer, it's growing on me. The Doctor does need to be cleverer though, I mean with all this knowledge of the universe I would hope to see him put it to use. He is like a giant metaphor for brains over brawn after all, is he not? There's far too much talking, or just bickering to be honest

I could write an episode or two for this show. In fact I would take full advantage of the time travel and even have a future doctor show up early on and then in a later episode we get to see the doctor actually going back in time to what we saw in the earlier episode. So the Doctor has to MANAGE TIME

not again

I've really relapsed again. That horrible feeling of hoplessness. Not a happy bunney.
I really need a distraction big time and something, ANYTHING to look forward to, maybe the sweet release of death, lol. I have a feeling this will be a reocurring thing in my life, at least till something changes, like a girlfriend.
I have this creeping feeling like I am tottaly unlovable. I know you shouldn't need anyone else to define you but a little bit of love would help me out cosiderably and not in a following people in social media way. I'm SICK of fucking social media. It has such an addictive quality to it, I've blocked all the websites on my computer as it constantly leaves me feeling empty and a desire to come back for more. There are times when some youtuber may answer you back which is great but it's like once or twice a month and it just eats away at my time, hours go past in the blink of an eye. So sick of it, it's an illness. SO unhappy right now. Fuck it
Youtube is still good to go within reason. At least that's a silver lining. That was a good time actually when I was fine being alone last year and had just discovered youtube. It was great as TV had gone stale for me years before. It was a welcomed change with shows more tailor made for a specific audience.
I really don't trust myself with social media as I am totally undisciplined. Intentionally I'd only use it if people wanted to reach me not the other way around. This side of the fence is not a good place to be. It's like chasing after a fake family that might like you if you had something to show but I don't cos I am on Social Fucking Media all the time!

I just had a holiday. Wasn't the best. Need another one, one where I can relax and not think about any fucking one I would follow on social media. Pissed off with it. I'll go alone obviously as I have no one to go with. My anxiety is gonna be going through the roof though. As long as there is drink to be had, I can drown my sorrows at a bar on  a beach front or something. That sound ok.
 

<inhale> <exhale> that's better

fed up beyond, nothing will change

I feel like shit today. fucking shit. But I've been a lot worse.

This economy is soooo bad for my mental health it isn't true.
I'm epically pissed off because my bank yer, last year was willing to lend about £97k and now it's gone down to about £56k. So basically I'm being punished for being born in 1985 instead of 1984. Thanks economy you're so fair to people. The worst thing isn't how inaccessible things are cos they cost too much its how you have to wait sooo long for life things to happen like get a house which is pretty fundamental to your existence. I should of been in my own apartment in a full time job as soon as I left Uni age 22. But no, I'm 29 and am still waiting.

People need to understand that not everyone is competitive, not everyone has a kill or be killed mentality, and some of us are very passive and submissive. Doesn't mean I want to be controlled it just means when it comes to relationships I like to do things for other people cooperatively, but work in my own space. Let's say I have a feminine nature. Can I show it, no of course not cos that would make sense and make everything ok and life only knows how to treat me like fucking shit.

On top of that I can't do anything I actually want to do unless I'm in the right mood for it, and I'm never in the right mood



I have no self esteem, no social skills, nothing to show, no "real" friends, yet I know I'm a really good person. Life is just an absolute piece of shit and punishes nice people especially if you are born with a penis.
I wish so hard I could live in a world where I can be a delicate person because I am very delicate and vulnerable. This is the way I am

The Love I know you, so staying single

Carrying on from my previous post. I know my love. To be honest I found out because of youtube. Before, the "picture" of this person was only about 50% complete.

Woh, let's back up a second here. What am I talking about... I guess I need to explain to you how I interpret love in my mind. It is difficult in a way as everyone's love is unique to them and may share similarities particularly if they are within the same culture you are. But make no mistake your love is as unique as you are and you are one of a kind. No two people are identical or you'd be occupying the same space at the same time and that is impossible, well unless you want to get into quantum theory, and you don't want to get into quantum theory.
I think you can break love down into all the things you like about someone but each thing has an upper and lower limit, so parameters basically, like - not too short not too tall, - not to fat not too thin, - not to chatty, not too quiet, - not to geeky, not to jockish etc. (Humans all seem to think digitally in extremes but healthy thinking is all about finding a balance I find)
So you could probably come up with like, a thousand parameters if you really wanted to but all these things in our heads get processed in a second and what we experience is a "feeling". THAT feeling. That this person is great, amazing, the one. So looking at it like mathematics, it's like a huge bar chart with all these parameters on it and asking where on each scale does this person live. Are they in the middle green area (yes), are they the outer yellow( no but depends on other parameters) or are they way out in the red (deal breaker, this person is clearly a baboon). Then it can be quantified like 978/1000 and therefore boom got us a percentage 97.8% . yellows can be between 0 and 1, but I prefer to just be yay or nay. and red shouldn't ever happen unless you are being silly and the subject is a baboon.
Now this seems really neurotic but actually, it isn't obsessive at all because I've always known there is no such thing as 100% all green/perfect. It doens't exist. This is just what I think is going on inside everyone's head unconsciously. It's about compatibility at the end of the day, not the single "idea" of perfection.

Now as a rule of experience it is my belief that you can love someone dearly and truly if they have the same or higher percentage compatibility than your previous loves. So Maybe your first love is ~25% then your second love is ~33% etc. BUT it only works one way. If you go lower, then you are "settling" and frankly that's a pile of sh*t because I'm pretty sure you will just have that previous person at the back of your mind the whole time. Maybe you are fulfilling some civil duty, who knows

Now, when I was young I tended to fall in love just because of one thing, that usually involved some sense of mystery. I liked mysterious women, but in retrospect there was only like, I dunno ~25% compatibility. But nature it seems, does this to get you in there and get you interested otherwise how are you supposed to find out who you are compatible with? right? makes sense. so the mystery is replaced by compatibility through experience.

So after all that love theory what I've been trying to say is since discovering youtube, the other 50% of the "picture" has been filled in for me without making any effort on my part what so ever, unless you consider clicking effort (I'll go into the physcology of YouTube on me in another blog later on). This has been both a gift and a curse. A gift because: hey, I know what I'm looking for, so that's great huh. But then there's the big kicker, yer, so now I've found someone that I'm pretty sure is as close to 100% as life will ever realistcly get, it's all like a dream, then I wake up to realise, that I doubt this person will ever be in my life, I mean, to even have a chance I'd need to A) have this person know me and B) Be single and available which I'm pretty sure she's not.

So it feels like if I did find someone else interested in me in the future, I'll have that dreaded feeling of settling... this is as good as it's gonna get. nope. So this is what I carry and thinking it through I think I should remain single, most likely indeffinatly, unless I find someone even more compatible (she's like a 99%er), lol. OR said person actually takes an interest in me, ha. *Honestly she deserves someone waaaaaay better than me. I'm not what you call a success story. Maybe that will change when I get my own place and get out on my own*

I just hope people accept me remaining single and don't be all weird about it. I'm fine being single really as long as people are ok with it.


P.S. Funny I just recalled a youtube video I watched about procrastinators (link here) and goes on to describe them (me). It's so true that I am all or nothing. I don't like the idea of settling, so I'd rather settle for nothing.



to be continued ...

settle down, unnatural normal

Arr, the burden of being single, kinda like having leprosy yet no one mentions it. But worse is the feeling like I'm obligated to do something about it. It really doesn't work like that and I think most people know this, they just pick the quickest, easiest option.

I have no desire to be single but I refuse to compromise my beliefs which are very important to me. There is a certain way certain things have to happen and that is never more true than falling in love and spending the rest of your life with the one you love.

Oh, of course, you think I'm being "unrealistic". Well, my parents were so-called "realistic" and got together because of circumstance and the overwhelming desire to be "normal" and fit in. They haven't had the best marriage and nor will they and they didn't make brilliant parents either. Not that I didn't have everything I needed but I had little or no interaction with my parents growing up. Giving into social paranoia and peer pressure is clearly not the answer. Why make yourself miserable, it's plain stupid. And at the end of the day, I'd rather be miserable and alone than miserable with someone else I really can't stand... you just tolerate... that's my parents' marriage in one word: tolerate. Sums up this day and age we live in really... or so it seems.

So what do I mean by "the way it happens" you ask? Well, I think that is very subjective and down to you the individual but basically, it needs to not feel artificial and forced. You know... natural.

So dating agencies...
Christ, you may as well stick us all in the matrix and be done with it. I mean seriously what is the point to life if you're gonna let machines and artificial means to dictate the important events in your life. I'm sorry if you have used it and found it great, but for me, it goes profoundly against my beliefs. It feels wrong. And now I think about it... why is it perfectly "normal" and socially acceptable to use dating agency's to match you with the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with using companies with computers, but it's not normal for a human male to wear a skirt even though his genitals are on the outside of his body therefore designed to be kept cool. Science! But seriously, society gets quite a lot of things wrong when you analyse it.
I mean, I'd use a dating site for the experience, that's fine, just for funsies, but everyone else would be taking it seriously so it wouldn't be fair on them if I turned up with no intention of actually looking for someone.

But of course, society is a game of numbers and people have funny ways of making you feel like shit for sticking out. Fuck them, frankly. but if you think I'm being fussy, yes I think that is a fair comment, but I know my love, I know my compatibility, and if I end up living the rest of my life being single I don't see why that has to guarantee, a life of misery (yes that was a triple rhythm, marvellous) It's just a social construct, and the idea that is planted in your head that you have to be partnered up. Having a mediocre marriage benefits no one especially your children. Which I would like to have, but ONLY in the right, healthy, balanced relationship which in turn will create a healthy environment for them to grow up in.



to be continued...

No one is simply going to save you

This last message for this group, is a harsh reminder for a harsh truth. No one is simply just going to rescue you no matter how much you need them to, and how amazing and wonderful and caring they seem. Good people will give you advice,  it's helpful advice to help you help yourself. Not a magic cure

I've never done it, but I have been tempted to send out an SOS to a complete stranger that I admire. But I asure you if you are crossing a line by burdening another with your issues and there really is nothing they can do for you. It's easy to think that a famous person has dome hidden truth that once you hear it you will be ok. They will be polite and say something along the lines "I'm sorry to hear that" and maybe "you should get professional help" but you won't get anything that is going to be along the line of them going to drop what they're doing and go to comfort a complete stranger, which is what you want to hear, I know I would, lol.

I have a brother who's behaviour was once very poisnous and would unload his troubles on me. It was very unpleasent at times and he would constantly make it worse by just demanding more, like the conversation had no end.

So, charity starts at home. Help yourself, make yourself happy, and when you are completely adequate you can get good at something. Anything. If it's not a job then a hobby... Then people will see your achievements and be drawn to you and most importantly you'll have something to talk about. But of course don't just talk about yourself. Everyone has achievements.

not crazy

Just to add to what was said before...
I can't really speak on behalf of everyone, but if you do have physiological problems it is not because you're nutts it is the end result of you being inadequete.  There was probably a time when all the people you now think are cool and confident were once shy and nervous about things.  You haven't known them and how they've developed into this person. It isn't magic, or genetic.

So inadequete is the key word here.

It's not as bad as it sounds. All it means is that these are problems that result of you lacking skills that you should have in life as I said in the previous post. This is an important desertion and focusing on the solution just means that it's another task to add to the other tasks like washing and cooking etc.

Maybe you're a bit behind like me, but so what.

Dwell on soultions not problems

Right, so don't dwell on specific physiological problems you might be having, you end up simply perpetuating them. Which always seemed to be counter to the philosophy of admitting you have a problem. It is confusing.







Instead, focus on and dwell on the solutions.

So for me I am missing a lot of life skills, it is embarrassing at 29 but I just believed that I would be taught everything I need to know in my childhood. Not the case, in fact schools should really get kids to practice things like being social and team work and staying organized. I don't think school has taught me anything of use other than reading, writing and basic arithmetic. But that's another conversation.

My solutions are:

social skills
organizational skills
do yoga + a sport. (it's cheaper than the gym)

umm, that might be it really... wow that's a small list. I think that once I put these into practice all the bad stuff will melt away, and when that happens, I will become a positive person and in turn become approachable to others



There might be work classes on meetup.com if not I might try searching for something that deals with this specially. I am a bit of a mess to be honest. I got comfortable stating last year and even got excited discovering youtubers, but ended up just procrastinating, so I hope when i have my week planned and I'm used to following it, I won't worry about motivation anymore. And when I think of socialising as a skill set that I can learn instead of something of a natural given then it's something I can get good at and in turn my anxiety + depression will fade. Cos that's the really big one.
I think coping with stress isn't really a skill, but the less negativity you have in your head holding you back the better you're ability to cope.

So to sum up. Learn stuff I should have known years ago, then join clubs. 1 step at a time. Plus keep a journal of my journey. It may help someone someday

Social media the positive

I just realised how negative that last post was but shouldn't indicate that social media is bad.  Cos it isn't.

Social media has taught me a few things like not to take what people say too seriously. How to be witty and generally how to have sense of humour about things. Sometimes you will get a message back from someone you admire and it is a great thing, it cost nothing and all from the comfort of where ever you use your computer.

So yer, so if you wake up and the first thought is I need to check twitter then you have a problem. Don't let social media replace a social life.

Currently I have a problem, but I'm not sure exactly sure what to do about it.

Addicted to the cure

It pains me to write this post but the truth is social media and youtube is sucking me into a world I feel like has taken over my life and I need to break from it. The sad irony that youtube shows,vlog channels, and social platforms like twitter, instagram, tumblr and facebook are so inspiring to me have also become so addictive that they are making me more and more isolated using them. I hope no one can relate to this one. This is addicted to the cure.

Ok, so I have a few "old friends" that I stay in touch with(barley) and I have work colleagues that I like but really, I would say I don't have any "real" friends in my life. So finding out that youtube had original and much more personally orientated web shows along with vlogs was something of a revelation. I instantly fell in love with these shows and the people who did vlogs as is felt so personal breaking down the 4th wall. Looking back at it, it was the culture that was the desirable factor. Seeing youtubers go on other you tubers channels and channels that made so much diverse content with such small budgets was amazing. And of course the personal advice that they would give you. It feels like everyone in LA knows each other and are all open minded like I am. It appears to be a big family. I want that.

But once I started "following" people it becomes an addiction to see every tweet and watch every video so I don't miss anything, cos you never know what amazing thing might happen next. I would literately scroll back on twitter 16 hours every week day to look at all the American tweets (time difference and working 9-5). It just becomes a routine of procrastination thinking somehow you will see an opening so someone will "let you in". But yer, it's the culture. These are people I want to call my friends, but why on earth would they want to be friends with me. I mean we all had to start somewhere right? with nothing. I definitely have very little to show for myself and I'm 29. I imagine a lot of these youtubers who go to LA, go not knowing anyone, but just sign onto a few agency's looking for work. I think that is extremely brave. I am not.

So clearly I'm not happy in my own life and I think any youtuber or anyone that can relate would probably say that "you need to do something about it". That I need to make something to get noticed so people have a reason to like me. Being a good person isn't enough. And it is of course unfair to ask anyone in a position of power to do anything for someone they don't know as well as the fact that they probably have thousands of fans and they can't do favors for everyone. I'm not an idiot, I'm just stating the obvious. It does seem to be the way that good people are the weak and vulnerable ones and the assholes in this world are the ones that go to the top and achieve success. I've heard all the advice anyone can give me from people on the web and it is inspiring but it's never enough, I just can't get motivated before hand and social media has become a quick fix to cure my blues.

It pains me to do this as I'm going back to feel totally alone again but, I'm going to stop using social media from today except only answering people if anyone wants to speak to me, which I doubt. I must find a way to get motivated instead of procrastinating all the time. It feels like a mammoth task

to be continued...

Inequality in the econemy

Inequality: Why are the rich getting richer?: http://youtu.be/ZzCegQVljdY

Just reading on how to lick pussy

http://www.ohjoysextoy.com/eatpussy/

I'm not fond of the phrase eat pussy, cos you don't bite or chew anything, it's licking and sucking... Just saying

Feeling and a place

Did you ever notice
a feeling, tied when and where you are
all that goes on on a night out
the people you are with
the smells and the feelings
all make some kind of recognisable feeling
linked to that set of parameters or circumstance.

Later on..
You may of experienced something like a song
which triggers those memories which in term might trigger
the feeling of that time and place.

It's hard to quantify.......

I tend to not realise the lack of feeling
the mundane brings in my day to day.

But now and again something might trigger
this old feeling of old friends and feelings
of excitement and uncertainty.
Then I realise through comparison
how numb my world has become

The most natural feeling in the world.
are the ones you feel most alive

I conclude that the life I lead is extremely unnatural.

everyone should work. But why do I, like so any not find there way.
Where is our guiding light.
Why does the establishment not help us to find our true strengths
therefore our purpose.

Need to get that feeling purpose
But as Kurt Cobain said:
"Some thing's in the way, yer"

True Justice

It's funney how this isn't obvious from a young age, especially being someone who has always spotted the truth in observations from people who totally contradicted themselves. But...

Justice is really made up of 2 parts, the justice in principal and the enforcement of said justice.
So many people (including myself) are just the former, all talk and no action. Justice doesn't just happen. I, like many know what is right but never do anything about it. We just vent to our friends and family and online and nothing comes of it. I would hazard a guess that 90% of what we say in our lives are in fact an experssion of how we are doing/coping and never amount to anything.

I have taken over 25 years to reach this obvious fact about justice. Like I used to assume that justice just happened by some act of God and just being right was enough in other peoples minds. It isn't, it really isn't. Everyone has a world view and they will fight to protect it, right or wrong.

But the question is how do you change things knowing you are right about a particular aspect of society and yet no one else complains, or do they... to themselves maybe... quietly. Is that a nieve sense of humility, not complaining? But if everyone did complain and was vocal enough about it then companies and the government might be democratic about it. Maybe complaining publicly is the answer, on a specific website would seem like an appropriate place. One for local issues, one for national issues and one for universal issues. At this point the universal one might just be a place for idealism is I don't think there is any international law.

Just a thought