Jeet Kune Do sexuality - my view, myself, for the record

I really feel the need to make this blog as a form of clarification and pursuit for getting to the truth for anyone interested in sexuality as it has become such a big deal and is such a massive part of western culture. It's as if that sex and gender are the only things that define you these days. Honestly, it really worries me...There are more intellectual pursuits of connection besides sex.


It's been a long time (probably 10 years) coming but I'm fed up of feeling like I'm the odd one out and all the forms you have to fill in and dating site adverts, bla bla bla, not to mention people in society seem to really push this binary sense of straight or gay sexuality onto people as well as male and female gender. I have gotten quite uncomfortable and paranoid with society over this as if people won't understand like I'm a mutant or something. I need to say something. Really though, as a grown adult you should know by now that not everything in this universe is just like you, so diversity and differences are a given... If life is worth living that is. Remember the Nazis lost the war, that was generally perceived as a good thing as far as I know. So with original thinking (original as far as I know) comes writing and archiving for the future when people might want to reach the same conclusions as me, NOT copy me. That is an important difference. Like all intellectual purists, it is about the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so say we all. (I changed the "so help me God" to the literal meaning from Battlestar Galactica. It's essentially the same thing.
Does anyone else agree that God is a personified projection of what a collective is thinking, basically a metaphor for what cannot be seen/proven but know exists? i.e. thoughts of a collective)

We'll get to the title in a minute, but the most important thing to remember is this is my belief, if you don't like it then that is fine, but this IS what I believe. I have adopted these beliefs, not from the status quo, they are conclusions that have been arrived at through obvious universal ideals we all share, observation and pattern spotting. There are lots of things I don't know and am unsure about... This is not one of those things however, and at the end of the day, I'm just trying to be a good person by being inclusive with my personal being whilst pursuing the truth.

I don't really like thinking about sexuality to be honest as I don't like thinking about sex all the time, sexuality has practically become a religion since the 1960s through TV and consumerism and I don't think it's anything to be proud of. I mean sex is a good thing, don't get me wrong, if done right, in the right place with the right person/s not splattered around society shamelessly like it is today. I think it has a departmental effect on society. Yes, I'm very Victorian at heart, maybe Japanese. I want to pursue things that are creative, original and progressive no regressive and I would hope people would think the same but people are very pacified these days

So first things first, there's love and then there's lust. To me love has no sense of sexuality because love has no physical form, as it's in your head. You can express love through sex but love is not sex. What we're talking about is lust. Sexual attraction that you have no control over as it's subconscious, which for me is not a simple singular thing to explain, it is made up of many sub things. But I'm not going into the things that turn me on, this is about the principle belief of sexuality

Now getting back to the title, "Jeet Kune Do sexuality". What the F??? Yes that is Bruce Lee's self made martial art, which he describes as "the art of fighting without fighting" a style with no style, free flowing, basically it has no set rules, it is adaptive thinking. This can easily be applied to all aspects of life really and sexuality is no different. The art of sexuality with no sexuality. so what that means, is take it how it comes and you may like one thing, you might like all or some of the things, but just keep an open mind and that there is a huge spectrum of stuff out there. Saying that as I am getting older doing something with a man for example has no appeal what so ever, I did keep an open mind when I was younger and was open to the experience but as rule the first time had to be with a lady. It's inevitably where I would like to end up, with a family and all that old fashioned stuff.

Which leads me onto my second point, just because you have sex once with someone of the same gender as yourself does not mean you have to be a homosexual. If you play golf once in your life does that make you a golfer? Sex is an activity , why can't you treat it like any other activity instead of a religion. Grow up and take some responsibility, huh, sorry. The world would be much the better for it. And what about things like gay marriage I mean why isn't it just marriage, you don't have gay food at a gay restaurant with gay napkins, it's so silly to me. Purely to justify paranoid thoughts? to make it ok to incite hatred? That is another topic as well as the word gay, I still don't know for sure what that word means, but I use it here to mean homosexual. In my childhood it meant everything you hate and mistrust  and it still rings with those negative connotations today

So basically, I was open the experience once but can't anymore as I really don't have the confidence I used to and would just be so weird. I mean I'm 30 soon and a victim of conditioning no different than anyone else. However, and this is a really interesting (3rd) point that nobody seems to make. I would be willing (if circumstances allowed) to sleep with a pre op transsexual, as in a person who is a woman but was once a man and still has her genitals untouched. Now this seems to be a weird touchy subject that makes people quite uncomfortable but there has been a tonne of documentaries on TV in the last 5 or 6 years on the issue so the conversation has been started as far as I'm concerned. If we are talking about Physical attraction which I might add is a TINY fraction of the overall attraction spectrum (most of which is mental, not physical) then I learned that I am attracted to the female form which does not include the genitals. Frankly both penis and vagina both look kinda gross and dirty but I suppose that's a part of growing up, you get over it and get stuck in. And when I say female form I mean hips, thighs, tits, ass and most importantly the face. Men in drag is not attractive unless that man happens to have very delicate features like Brian from Placebo. He is a very pretty man, for a man. But until the genders evolve into one, the prettiest "person" in the world will always be a woman, that's just an act of evolution, assuming we agree upon what is pretty which I think is mathematical.
I don't see this as complicated, and at the end of the day I would like to have a family, fate willing, so I would choose to end up with a good old fashioned lady with lady parts. Not a man, unless a one off  radical thing happens like, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie show up and ask for a 3 some, but seriously, men don't have the features although I don't mind women with muscle as long as it's not overboard, I'm quite slender.

All this is about leaving things to fate and what life brings, I know what I find attractive and will politely decline anyone who I don't find attractive. I myself do not pursue sex as it makes me very uncomfortable and not something I'd enjoy at all. I am very shy. Me flirting would be like watching a car crash. But if a woman wants to buy me a drink and take me home and I find her reasonably attractive(slim) then I'm open arms. (yes I know that's not what most women do. That pesky status quo again, a right pain in the butt. lol). It would like to be able to dress a bit slutty at a bar as to indicate to the ladies I'm available but that can't happen in this culture,I'll stick to having things in common, intellectual pursuits, opinions, aspersions and personality

So for the record I am not a homosexual, but at the same time I don't feel entirely comfortable with straight as I believe that that implies you are exclusivey attracted to someone of the "other" gender, which is not reaaaaaly precisely exactly 100% accurate. I mean are we talking about genitals and where do you put hermaphrodites and transsexuals in all this. Plus, do you not feel that sexuality has become this kinda badge that people wear like it means your "special" or somehow "in the right". It's almost Nazi like I think. Scary, as we fought the Nazi's to stop that kind of thinking.

Look, seriously, by now haven't we realised that the universe we live in is analogue, no digital, as in it is made up of spectrum's, not binaries. Our brains may be computers but they emulate that complex analogue nature of the universe. This is very important and is what enables free individual thought. We DO NOT EVER want to loose this. I am just recognising this and obeying the truth of how things work. You may disagree. That's fine. I've had a LOT of time to think about it. But if you do disagree then simply carry on as you were, nothing has to change, just respect people having their point of view

Any who's I hope that was interesting and confirmed things that maybe you already knew on some level. I hope people will learn to respect the spectrums of being human. It really is what makes life worth living, and it doesn't have to lead to chaos, it can be well ordered chaos, if you just let it be.
I'll leave you with a thought and you can have a think for yourself.
Can you discern the difference between identity and behaviour? I'll talk about this in a later blog when I get round to it

Peace

New year, woo

New year new you, so they say.
I'm going to try not to be cynical and miserable, I really am, but 2014 was not a good year at all. I was procrastinating terribly, I got a social media addiction, I was basically living vicariously through youtubers really. I didn't do any work from home and I don't think I completed any games. And why on earth did I buy battlefield 4. I don't even like those games lol. meh.

I don't feel great right now cos I'm still trying to get to grips with the contract and lease to do with my flat. Honestly together it weighs well over a kilo gram. There must be 200 something pages here, and it's written in, like, Shakespeare or something. I get really paranoid cos you know... the devil's in the detail. So that's got me quite down, but I can't let these people take me for a ride, I'm so peed off at people always taking advantage of me. <huh>.
Some good news, my car passed its MOT. the first piece of good news I've had in ages.

Anyways, new years resolutions, I feel better about the future because I think I know what I'm aiming for.
I don't think I have to put don't use social media anymore as I seemed to have broken that habit :

1. is MOVE out of this GOD DAM house. So fed up, gaaaahhh. it's been like almost 7 years I think since University, enough is enough.. And ....breath....
2.  is actually make a game, actually, make two at once, it's viable, I am that good.
3. start youtube channel, maybe 2, one personal and one game playthroughs and reviews. Not sure about music that could go in personal and game tutorials should probably go in the gaming one. Might call it Devinity Studios as that's what I want to call the (virtual) company
4.  Go to Gym or at least until my general health gets better then switch to doing it at home. It's physiological really, it's easy to do exercise at a gym where I will just put it off at home. Also Yoga
5. Go to meetups, there's about 5 I think. Get social and hopefully develop a knack of talking to strangers and learn to improvise and not be awkward all the time. Maybe do improv class???
6. Start doing electronics with the Arduino and The Banana Pi (Rasberry Pi on steroids)
7. Make a social media website. Oh yer I almost forgot. I came up with an idea for a site that seems really obvious to me but I'm not aware of it being done so I might try and knock up a noddy site to test the principle and try and get (geeky) people's opinions, it's a site for creative people. I need to learn how to make profiles though, I assume people use MySQL.
8. Deffinatly do archery. I've done archery twice before and I really like it. My hand eye co-ordination is not once what it was me thinks. Let's be honest I want to be an elf mage, archer. Do those even exist. Cast spells on the arrows dude, explosives and diseases and what have you. All the long ranges and also I haven't done a sport since school that was 2001 <cheesy grin>

Maybe someone will read this and keep tabs and find a way to give me an ass kicking, but I'm not gonna do anything until I move. That's the priority at the moment. After that my main two priorties will be recording games and making games whilst doing tutorials to back them up. It would be nice to have a legit youtube channel that people watch regularly.
Oh and Comic Con is this May but I'm not going by myself, I need to recruit geeky adventures if I'm going to any more conventions is makes all the difference, last comic con was pretty awkward and it kinda ruins the experience. WHAT CAN I SAY I'm a delicate flower. Deal with it.

Oh and major good news. The first major revision of an OPEN SOURCE alternative to Unity called Godot has gone live. I mean holy crap, that's a game changer, bu dum dum. ha I'm funny... sometimes. I haven't touched it yet but I may just go with that one

Oh and I wrote a list a while back about future stuff to get, I can't find it though, I think a new PC was on it. I don't think this PC can handle modern games whilst streaming. It is about 6 years old now to be fair, I don't mind replacing it. But I have got to get a decent digital camera for recording ma face doe.

Peace