No one is simply going to save you

This last message for this group, is a harsh reminder for a harsh truth. No one is simply just going to rescue you no matter how much you need them to, and how amazing and wonderful and caring they seem. Good people will give you advice,  it's helpful advice to help you help yourself. Not a magic cure

I've never done it, but I have been tempted to send out an SOS to a complete stranger that I admire. But I asure you if you are crossing a line by burdening another with your issues and there really is nothing they can do for you. It's easy to think that a famous person has dome hidden truth that once you hear it you will be ok. They will be polite and say something along the lines "I'm sorry to hear that" and maybe "you should get professional help" but you won't get anything that is going to be along the line of them going to drop what they're doing and go to comfort a complete stranger, which is what you want to hear, I know I would, lol.

I have a brother who's behaviour was once very poisnous and would unload his troubles on me. It was very unpleasent at times and he would constantly make it worse by just demanding more, like the conversation had no end.

So, charity starts at home. Help yourself, make yourself happy, and when you are completely adequate you can get good at something. Anything. If it's not a job then a hobby... Then people will see your achievements and be drawn to you and most importantly you'll have something to talk about. But of course don't just talk about yourself. Everyone has achievements.

not crazy

Just to add to what was said before...
I can't really speak on behalf of everyone, but if you do have physiological problems it is not because you're nutts it is the end result of you being inadequete.  There was probably a time when all the people you now think are cool and confident were once shy and nervous about things.  You haven't known them and how they've developed into this person. It isn't magic, or genetic.

So inadequete is the key word here.

It's not as bad as it sounds. All it means is that these are problems that result of you lacking skills that you should have in life as I said in the previous post. This is an important desertion and focusing on the solution just means that it's another task to add to the other tasks like washing and cooking etc.

Maybe you're a bit behind like me, but so what.

Dwell on soultions not problems

Right, so don't dwell on specific physiological problems you might be having, you end up simply perpetuating them. Which always seemed to be counter to the philosophy of admitting you have a problem. It is confusing.







Instead, focus on and dwell on the solutions.

So for me I am missing a lot of life skills, it is embarrassing at 29 but I just believed that I would be taught everything I need to know in my childhood. Not the case, in fact schools should really get kids to practice things like being social and team work and staying organized. I don't think school has taught me anything of use other than reading, writing and basic arithmetic. But that's another conversation.

My solutions are:

social skills
organizational skills
do yoga + a sport. (it's cheaper than the gym)

umm, that might be it really... wow that's a small list. I think that once I put these into practice all the bad stuff will melt away, and when that happens, I will become a positive person and in turn become approachable to others



There might be work classes on meetup.com if not I might try searching for something that deals with this specially. I am a bit of a mess to be honest. I got comfortable stating last year and even got excited discovering youtubers, but ended up just procrastinating, so I hope when i have my week planned and I'm used to following it, I won't worry about motivation anymore. And when I think of socialising as a skill set that I can learn instead of something of a natural given then it's something I can get good at and in turn my anxiety + depression will fade. Cos that's the really big one.
I think coping with stress isn't really a skill, but the less negativity you have in your head holding you back the better you're ability to cope.

So to sum up. Learn stuff I should have known years ago, then join clubs. 1 step at a time. Plus keep a journal of my journey. It may help someone someday

Social media the positive

I just realised how negative that last post was but shouldn't indicate that social media is bad.  Cos it isn't.

Social media has taught me a few things like not to take what people say too seriously. How to be witty and generally how to have sense of humour about things. Sometimes you will get a message back from someone you admire and it is a great thing, it cost nothing and all from the comfort of where ever you use your computer.

So yer, so if you wake up and the first thought is I need to check twitter then you have a problem. Don't let social media replace a social life.

Currently I have a problem, but I'm not sure exactly sure what to do about it.

Addicted to the cure

It pains me to write this post but the truth is social media and youtube is sucking me into a world I feel like has taken over my life and I need to break from it. The sad irony that youtube shows,vlog channels, and social platforms like twitter, instagram, tumblr and facebook are so inspiring to me have also become so addictive that they are making me more and more isolated using them. I hope no one can relate to this one. This is addicted to the cure.

Ok, so I have a few "old friends" that I stay in touch with(barley) and I have work colleagues that I like but really, I would say I don't have any "real" friends in my life. So finding out that youtube had original and much more personally orientated web shows along with vlogs was something of a revelation. I instantly fell in love with these shows and the people who did vlogs as is felt so personal breaking down the 4th wall. Looking back at it, it was the culture that was the desirable factor. Seeing youtubers go on other you tubers channels and channels that made so much diverse content with such small budgets was amazing. And of course the personal advice that they would give you. It feels like everyone in LA knows each other and are all open minded like I am. It appears to be a big family. I want that.

But once I started "following" people it becomes an addiction to see every tweet and watch every video so I don't miss anything, cos you never know what amazing thing might happen next. I would literately scroll back on twitter 16 hours every week day to look at all the American tweets (time difference and working 9-5). It just becomes a routine of procrastination thinking somehow you will see an opening so someone will "let you in". But yer, it's the culture. These are people I want to call my friends, but why on earth would they want to be friends with me. I mean we all had to start somewhere right? with nothing. I definitely have very little to show for myself and I'm 29. I imagine a lot of these youtubers who go to LA, go not knowing anyone, but just sign onto a few agency's looking for work. I think that is extremely brave. I am not.

So clearly I'm not happy in my own life and I think any youtuber or anyone that can relate would probably say that "you need to do something about it". That I need to make something to get noticed so people have a reason to like me. Being a good person isn't enough. And it is of course unfair to ask anyone in a position of power to do anything for someone they don't know as well as the fact that they probably have thousands of fans and they can't do favors for everyone. I'm not an idiot, I'm just stating the obvious. It does seem to be the way that good people are the weak and vulnerable ones and the assholes in this world are the ones that go to the top and achieve success. I've heard all the advice anyone can give me from people on the web and it is inspiring but it's never enough, I just can't get motivated before hand and social media has become a quick fix to cure my blues.

It pains me to do this as I'm going back to feel totally alone again but, I'm going to stop using social media from today except only answering people if anyone wants to speak to me, which I doubt. I must find a way to get motivated instead of procrastinating all the time. It feels like a mammoth task

to be continued...