Womens prerogative
People will probably think shit about me for this but I don't care at this point. But I live in a constant state of fear or apprehension of what women think of me. I know people will humiliate me and attack me for "not being a man" and such bullshit, but that's just one of the many great things about being born with a dick, hurray. In my head you always need a woman's approval or else what your doing is bad (unless you're alone). In my childhood all the authoritative figures were women so they ruled
the roost. To me the home is always the woman's home not the man's. He
doesn't choose the look of the house she does. She decides what and when
we eat, more powerfully what a man can wear, which is a huge power by the way. Basically she is God. I feel the need for a wife... for protection, so I always have her to back me up. Does that make sense. (Am I mentioning one of those unspeakable things again, probably, but if George Carlin can do it why the fuck can't I) No one would be able to subvert me by trying to adjust my identity as it wouldn't work, because, I would have a wife, so that can't be true whatever it is they're trying to push on me. Make no mistake, (It's probably a small minority) but women can be very cruel when they want to be if they don't think you are the stereotypical default "male" character... I would describe myself as a weak man, that's fair, that's true, but more specifically, very sensitive, I think about the world all the time and I'm always sad about it. I have absolutely no quarrel with being subordinate to a woman as that is very natural to me (given my childhood) although probably not to most people. I'm not sure what point I'm trying to make other than things are very hard for me, but people don't seem to have any concept of it as they don't seem to have any frame of reference so to them... there's no problem, I'm "making it up"
PS I want to be clear that I am not being negative towards all women, it's just my insecurity, given what the world was to what it is now. It seems impossible to adjust. I was raised one way, and then what people expect is the other way. I personally don't think I should have to. As I said I have no problem being subordinate to a woman, if that dynamic works with the right woman, then it is the right choice.
Ruled by expectation
I really need a reason of why I have to suffer all the time. Just an explanation and some appreciation and recognition. I am ruled by my expectations and it kills me every time something in life fucks up and I have to seamlessly just accept it. There is rarely an explanation. It happens all too often. If I knew why, like were in WW3 then it would make sense to me. It must for some reason, what is it?
I'm a good person, so why do good things never happen to me. I just want an explanation. This whole recession is such bullshit because there's always a recession since the market system began. And unless the system changes there will always be a recession, it's yet just another bullshit word made up to justify you feeling like a piece of shit for doing nothing wrong.
Smile, look busy business
If I put on the TV and watch some Sunday politics. It makes me wonder how much of the world is for show. On the TV, internet and in real life when you go shopping or to the cinema. How much of it is legit and how much is a distraction. How can you tell. Humans are very capable liars and I can't tell when I'm being lied to as I'm not a liar myself and have no plan to start. Are they keeping me from something. Or are you filling me with hope, is that hope real or is it false hope. What is the ultimate goal of society because it doesn't seem to be progress and it doesn't seem to be fixing ANY of the problems that face humanity. Business continues as usual
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